emo post


Updating my blog with sadness and grieve once again... Well i literally cried for 3 times in a week. Kinda broke my record but wadever.

Wats wrong with crying? Why people keep giving that kind of look? Am I inferior to them now becus i cry? I am really tired. Very very tired. Why cant u guys understand me? Its not that i wanna cry. Its just that i cant do anything else.

In the past, i always felt that violence will solve it. Now i stopped it. I controlled myself. But am i wrong? Am i? Is violence the really onli way out? I dun wanna go back to my old self. I want the new me. Why cant people accept it? Issit even wrong for people to change?

So what if its my first time crying over my good result? Issit wrong? Does that imply that I am a weakling? I dun wanna be looked as a weakling. I wanna be strong!

So what if its my first time crying over my bad result? Issit also wrong? We are all humans and humans have feelings right? So what is wrong shedding tears?

So what if its my first time not reacting big and instead isolated myself from a project group? Issit wrong? Its not like my fault? I tried and sacrificed, risked, and even put in tremendous effort. But what i get? Nth but injury.

Those that doesnt understand me, I understand u. I understand all of you. I noe what you can do and what u cant do. I understand all individuals strengths. I understand all their weakness. But why dont they? Why cant they reflect upon themselves? I do understand myself alot. I am mentally weak but mentally strong. What i mean? I mean that i can actually get hurt at the slightest thing, and I will do all I can do to get my aim/focus done. That's what i meant.

But people out there. Do u noe urself? Or do others noe u more? If its others, let me tell u sth. You are not living ur own life. Instead, people are living urs. Sounds wrong rite? But its true.

Anyway i dun really wanna comment much. School was boring. Teachers arent looking out at the right thing. And ya lo... Nth much....

Trying to stay strong. MENTALLY. Mentally. mentally.

Frustration is the right word that i can use to describe. But hatred and not forgiving is not.

Written on Saturday, May 17, 2008 at 12:12 AM